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Trade the last-minute interview approach for a real relationship with him.Trade distant, hands-off fear tactics for some faithful, down-to-earth discipleship.If discipleship — or “dating” your daughter’s boyfriend — sounds like it might be a more effective method than what you’ve tried (or intended to try), here are six pieces of counsel for engaging young men interested in your little girl.I think most men wait for the suitor to come knocking, asking for the daughter’s hand in marriage. There are too many blessings to be had before she’s a fiancée.
But it would be dangerous for you to spend at least a little time investing in him, naming areas of need in his life and development, and then providing some appropriate support to him in his growth (even if his immaturities mean he can’t date your daughter right now). And remember that your home is probably the safest place for them to get to know each other, rather than out and about on their own without loving boundaries and accountability.Anyone who’s tried and failed to get married reads that simplicity with at least a little bit of longing. Wait for the day dad sends her to Minneapolis on a camel? While we can certainly learn about love and marriage from Isaac and Rebekah, I don’t think God intended it to be a manual for getting married in twenty-first-century America.I do think, though, that we may be facing greater evils in our Christian homes today than handpicking fathers.Nothing will help you discern if this young man can love your daughter more clearly than a relationship.And nothing will be better for him long term, whether or not he marries her.