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But to outsiders, you must put up a joint front – you must look like one inseparable unit.
Hence you need to know at least what others know – i.e. Believe me Anon, you do not need to know any more than this to ward off well-meaning hints and suggestions from outsiders.
You’ve mentioned one of her friends has tried dropping you hints about her past.
The only way knowing everything about one’s spouse’s past life can help is in tackling nosy outsiders like this friend, eager to spill the beans and laugh as the two of you shred your married life to pieces.
Their parents and extended families have absolutely none.
But each Indian family works in its own complicated way (don’t take it personally, I know “we’re like that only”;)).
She vehemently opposed this and refused to give away even the names of her classmates. In spite of what all this might suggest, I love her. Usually you achieve nothing by finding out the details of your spouse’s sex-life before he/she met you.
I understand it might be impossible for you to convey this to your parents in as many words.
If that’s the case, tell them politely (not in front of your wife, of course) that if they have any questions about your wife, they can ask you, not her, and not in front of her.
This disturbed me deeply and we’ve had innumerable discussions about this since then. Recently others in the family eavesdropped on us and unfortunately managed to listen in on some of our private conversations regarding this issue, i.e. This was deeply humiliating and painful for both of us.
At a very early stage I’d started suspecting that my wife had had sex before marriage.