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When you build a relationship with your best friend, you want to know everything about the person so that you share an unbeatable and incomparable connection.

Asking questions work amazingly to improve relationships between two friends.

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But, like a cheap, commercial, waxy, chocolate, Hollywood, sell-out, Rom-Com, mutual attachment formed, albeit looking back it was situationally enhanced. Falling in love might happen, but isn’t a requirement—Hell no! Monogamy agreed on unless/until mutually agreed otherwise. Ultimately, I think most people are looking for something romantic, or, intimate, whether long term or short, and there seems to be no point in wasting time with the opposite sex (assuming you’re heterosexual) if there’s nothing in it for them.

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After my last break up I made a conscious decision: romantic and sexual celibacy. Whether we Fling or do FWB, both options have an up side: sex with a real, live person; a sense of intimacy even if sheet shallow; a way to pass the time if we’re bored; a potential expanded social circle (more so with FWB); exercise and release of feel good hormones that uplift the spirit and reduce stress. Being honest with ourselves and others also helps people decide if they want to move on to their next connection sooner. Sometimes, what seems perfect on paper isn’t right simply because of timing.

I figured I’d get through 2013 solo and free and figure my shit out. I suggest the parties partying play by the rules, feel free to use mine, as noted above. Here’s a page from my intellectual playlist for self-administered foreplay: things I would like to do with you in my bed. Best not to hold out on hope, but there’s also no sense in throwing out a perfectly good friendship; if there was something real in the relationship, maybe just friends is enough.

They also truly care about my journey and are a constant source of encouragement and help.

Don’t you often get bewildered and completely blank when hosting a conversation with your best friend?

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