Sociology and dating
In the case of Ok Cupid, we are expected to present our best, most desirable self on the “front stage” of our profile.“Doing Gender” by Candace West and Don Zimmerman describes the process of, well, doing gender, referencing Goffman in its definition of gender as “a routine, methodological and recurring accomplishment” and an “emergent factor of social situations”(126):“Gender, in contrast [to sex], is the activity of managing situated conduct in light of normative conceptions of attitudes and activities appropriate for one’s sex category.
Gender activities emerge from and bolster claims to membership in a sex category.” (127)—you can find people all along every spectrum, from heterosexual to homosexual, monogamous to polygamous, virginal to kinky, and everywhere in between—yet for some reason, at least in my experience as a heterosexual woman, it seems to reinforce and even amplify gender in dating.
We can now see that it is a convenient and relatively harmless satisfaction of the inclination to aggression, by means of which cohesion between the members of the community is made easier.” (Freud, “Hence the astonishing harmony of ordinary couples who, often matched initially, progressively match each other by a sort of mutual acculturation. Is it because we’re so reliant on this information anyway that when it’s so readily available we lean on it even more heavily?
Men are, therefore, expected to do all of the , while women primarily vet the messages in their inbox, overwhelmed with the flurry and consequently making extremely arbitrary choices along the way.
It is the same self who is presented as observing himself, and he affects himself just in so far and only in so far as he can address himself by the means of social stimulation which affect others.
The “me” whom he addresses is the “me,” therefore, that is similarly affected by the social conduct of those about him.”Mead’s argument is that we construct our “self” moment by moment, in accordance with our social situation: the “self” is socially mediated.
Nearly-identical tastes seem to be most problematic in moments where small differences between those tastes become evident.
Bourdieu highlights this in relation to the bourgeoisie and the petit bourgeoisie, as well as between the petit bourgeoisie and the proletariat.